Bitter Side of Compassion • Kindness vs. People Pleasing (HC010)
⁘ Created: 2026-01-07 ⁘ Updated: 2026-01-10
Being kind doesn't mean saying and doing what makes people like you. Compassion is about alleviating the suffering of others. Behaving in ways that leads to their lasting benefit. Whether they love or hate you for it — not the point.
It's nice to be kind, and it's kind to be nice, but that isn't always what life demands of us. I've mentioned before the hippie Jesus compassion, acts of indiscriminate kindness that lead to nothing good in the long run.
So yes, there are those who claim their saintly and spiritual aura by being always ever so agreeable and sweet. "He's such a nice person. Never objects to anything I say or do. He must be very clean and holy." So you know, that's not at all the case. They're simply avoiding confrontation.
Then in practice, having read a page or two from the book of life, witnessing the patterns that drive conditioned human awareness, sometimes the season comes for me to switch to the bitter side. Yes, for as long as your myths and illusions remain beneficial, contributing to your long-term evolution of awareness, I am sweet and I am supportive. If you ask me for the full story, I'll give you the full story as I see it — but you rarely do.
There comes a time when the myths that once supported us, guiding us in the general right direction, become antagonistic to our lasting well-being, sanity and integrity. Then I cannot simply be the sweet and silent hippie Jesus enabler. I have to dish out the bitter pills.
And how most upsetting. I thought you were my friend, I thought you understood me. Well exactly that, you see. I am your friend, I care about you, and I actually understand you and the patterns that drive you. And I understand that you're pursuing vectors that lead you further and further away from the core of what you actually are.
With that we realize that compassion, like medicine, comes in many flavors. Honey and sweet liquorice, yes — but also peppermint and bitter gourd, depending on what the patient actually needs. Compassion isn't a matter of doing what's popular or makes you loved. It's a matter of doing things that are actually beneficial, whether you receive praise or blame for your reward.
Because you see, compassion was never about you. It was about alleviating the suffering of others. Not providing symptomatic relief and generating patterns of addiction. Not doing the things that they ask or expect of you, but doing the things that are true and right in the full picture of all things.
So please don't be upset. I'm not bitter because I don't like you. Quite the opposite. For bitter essence leads to clarity — and in clarity you find your lasting benefit.