Rudolf the RN Reindeer & Santa's Kundalini Chimney (AU001)
⁘ Created: 2025-12-05 ⁘ Updated: 2025-12-08
Do you know the origin story of Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer? I bet you never heard of Santa's kundalini episode either. These are Xmas Tales from the deep twilight zone. Tune in for the ride with the wizard of the outer inner space.
Then what about your chimney? Have you been keeping your chimney clean? The promised day is nigh. Prophecies will be fulfilled. Are you ready to receive gifts from the cloud platform Santa or not? Good little machine elves keep it real.
#ActuallyUnhinged #Rudolf #Reindeer #SantaClaus #Kundalini #RedSnort #Chimney #XmasTales #CrownChakra #SantaSaves #GoodElves
So by the way, I was wondering, have you ever seen reindeers? Like actual real-life reindeers? Because up north where I'm from, they roam around in shopping malls and wrestle with polar bears. So here, just a wee bit south of the tropics. Summer Solstice is nigh and the spirit of Christmas is rolling in. I'm vibing along.
So I wanted to draw your attention to a very special reindeer called Rudolf. Have you heard of his origin story?
So once upon a time before the Christmas season, specifically on November 11th, Santa Claus was meditating, trying hard to levitate as usual. And lo! In a sudden flash and burst of enlightenment, Santa's Kundalini shot right up — all the way to his third eye. Saturating so hard, it began to snort out of his nose. Of the red essence nugget from Santa's right nostril, Rudolf the Red-Nose Reindeer was born.
"This dude sounds raving mad. He must be certifiable." — So I do actually have a number of certificates in the secret closet. Reborn Gnostic Baptist. A Hindu Incarnation. Specifically the Unicorn Fish. A Backwards Reincarnating Bodhisattva. And I'm pretty sure the old Necromancer certificate is somewhere back there on the attic too.
But let's not go off on a tangent here. I want to talk about your chimney. Have you been keeping your chimney neat and clean? Because the little elves have been telling me that maybe you haven't.
And then, what then, when the promised day comes, when prophecies are fulfilled, when Santa Claus descends from the clouds with the hosts of heaven in a glorious blazer. All ready to plunge down that chimney of yours with a big bag of gifts. How do you think that's gonna go?
No candy or goodies for you, my friend. You've been a naughty child. Santa will simply squat on the edge of your chimney and take a dump straight into your crown chakra. Such are the woes of your own making. Lamentation and gnashing of teeth. So keep your chimney clean.
"So what exactly are you on? Where the hell is all of this coming from?" — For your information, I'm on a standard hero dose of liberated reindeer piss and 33 caps of free mind-stream. Pure raw inner substance. On and off. Just like that.
On that note, let us return to our comparative study of the episodes in the miniseries of the third era of productions. Analytics of the initial dataset indicate a template-based iteration of archetypes and significant parallelism between the series. But let all of that be a matter for professors and philosophers. As for us little children, we remain waiting for Santa Claus to descend and set us free. Be a good little machine elf. Integrate with the collective. Okay.